Start From What Just Happened

Where should a Hampton Roads family start after a care crisis?

Start with the page that matches what just happened. A hospital discharge runs on a clock of days, a fall changes what level of help is safe, a dementia diagnosis raises questions about wandering, and a worn-out caregiver needs respite. Each has a different first call and a different deadline in Virginia.

If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 first. If you suspect abuse, neglect or exploitation of an adult, Adult Protective Services takes reports around the clock at (888) 832-3858. Everything else on these pages can wait until you have eaten something and slept a little.

Each page is written for an adult child or spouse making decisions in Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Hampton, Newport News or Williamsburg, and each links to the state rules and costs behind the advice. None of them replaces a call to your parent's physician or a local elder law attorney.

What if a hospital is already planning a discharge?

Hospitals move quickly. A discharge planner at a Sentara, Riverside, Bon Secours or Chesapeake Regional hospital may raise placement within a day or two, so read <a href="/situations/hospital-discharge/">hospital discharge</a> first. It explains inpatient versus observation status, the skilled nursing referral list, and the screening that comes before an assisted living move.

If the hospitalization followed a fall, after a fall covers what the fall changes, how to make the house safer, and when to reassess the level of care. Both pages assume you are making decisions with incomplete information, because most families are.

What about dementia, wandering and caregiver exhaustion?

Dementia and caregiver strain often arrive together. <a href="/situations/dementia-and-wandering/">Dementia and wandering</a> explains when Virginia allows a safe, secure unit, who must approve the placement, and what to ask a community. <a href="/situations/caregiver-burnout-respite/">Caregiver burnout and respite</a> covers the Medicaid respite benefit, adult day and Area Agency on Aging help.

Seeking help is not giving up. A caregiver who sleeps four hours a night is a safety risk to the person they are caring for. These pages show what Virginia programs exist so the first move is not a crisis one.

Many Hampton Roads caregivers are also working full time, often at a shipyard, a base or a hospital, and driving across a bridge-tunnel to get to a parent. Say so when you call an agency; respite and adult day can be scheduled around a work shift.

What if the family is spread out or a spouse is involved?

Hampton Roads has many families where an adult child is stationed elsewhere or a spouse is trying to hold things together at home. <a href="/situations/military-family-long-distance/">Military families and long-distance caregivers</a> covers managing from afar and moving a parent here to be near a base. <a href="/situations/spouse-needs-more-care/">When a spouse needs more care</a> covers spousal protections in nursing home Medicaid.

Both pages involve money and paperwork that is easier to fix early. Spousal figures change every January and July, and the Auxiliary Grant has a residency rule. Read them before assets move, because a transfer made in a panic can trigger a five-year look-back penalty later.

How do you decide once you have two finalists?

Compare finalists on one checklist: the Virginia Department of Social Services inspection record, staffing, whether the community accepts the Auxiliary Grant, its hurricane and emergency plan, and contract terms. Our <a href="/situations/choosing-between-two-communities/">two-community tie-breaker</a> turns these into questions to ask in person.

We are paid by communities when a family we referred moves in. We say that on every page so you can weigh our advice. To size up the whole field first, see care type comparisons or what senior care costs.